I spoke in my last post about going through a life review, I have actually been going through this for sometime now but this December of 2012 held a special message to/for me. Most of my December 2012 review was about my early childhood; things I have not thought of in many many years if ever.
As I went through this review the thought kept coming into my mind "have I grown up or have I grown down".
As a child I was carefree, open and had no fears! I did not care what others thought of me nor what they thought I should do or be. I was who I was and that is all there is to it!
I ran wild and free. I swung out of trees, explored the forests, brought home all kinds of critters, rocks, twigs and sticks. I never played with the dolls that were bought for me (well if I did it was not nicely) because I was a girl and that "was what girls were supposed to like". When someone wanted me to do something "against my nature" I fought it be they parent, sibling, or friend. I did what made me happy, what made me feel good! Of course this is from my very early years.
As I got older I lost that will to be carefree and natural. Somehow and somewhere I became separated from my inner child. It was most likely due to social conditioning, peer pressure and not wanting to get my butt blistered for being "me".
The older I got the more I fell into social and environmental conditioning. I lost my true self (or so I thought), I got stuck into that rut of doing what everyone thought I should do; being pulled in every way except where I truly wanted to be. I still never dressed or wore make-up like fashion, culture, society and peer pressure dictated, which was my one rebellion against those pressures. I went off into the woods to be in my natural environment by myself, secretly (not what a grown woman is supposed to do), I was adamant about working in construction (again not where a woman belonged); I think unconsciously I did these things so I could never lose that link to who I truly am.
As I got older I became fearful of what people would think or say, I was no longer carefree, I lost that innocence, creativity and passion that I had as a young child. I let myself become obligated to others opinions and in effect their control.
So......did I really "grow up"? Or did I "grow down" and away from who I really am? Who sets these standards anyway? LOL
As I moved into my forties I finally started to discard the social restraints bit by bit. I came to the conclusion that I don't care what people think, I needed to make myself happy. I needed to find me and be me.
In this review I came to the conclusion that I definitely was not "growing up" through the majority of my life. Yes I became an adult as defined by society but I have not begun to "grow up" until recently.
These past couple of years I have been "Being" what makes me happy and I no longer care what anyone else thinks or says. I try to be respectful of others in doing so, but I am "Being" and "Growing" again. I embrace my inner child, hug her then let her go; so she can show me how to "grow up".
Oh yes, I almost forgot to mention! I am experiencing that old carefree, creativity and passion for life again...um I kinda think the innocence is lost but who knows, who defines innocence?
I hope all of you get, take, and have the same opportunity as I have, to finally "grow up"
Blessings to All!
In Service and Love to Earth and Unity
Since the Solstice on December 21st I have been seeing/reading and hearing a lot of disappointment about "nothing" happening. I do not agree with this at all! Something has happened!
There were those that expected to wake up in some other reality or some other dimension, some expected some one to come to their rescue, some expected to be beamed up and out of here, some to wake up with a new body, and some just did not expect to wake up. Then there were some like me who did not know what to expect, but hoped something, anything would happen. To be honest for months I went to sleep every night and woke up every morning with thoughts of a better earth to live on. One with fresh air, no pollution, no chem-trails, no garbage, no anger, no hatred, no greed, no crimes of any kind, the ecology completely restored to the balance it once was, and yes I have to admit...no politicians, governments, bureaucrats; you get the picture. I also kept the intent every day that I would gain more awareness, respect, love, compassion and passion for our Earth and all living beings on her and most of all myself (I still do these things and most likely will continue).
I was not, am not disappointed at all. After a few days of being in physical aches and pains and reliving some areas of my past that I thought I had cleared, let go and moved on from, I did notice a change not only in myself but those around me and just a "feel" of things.
I have a general feel of things shifting, energies increasing with an increased awareness of the shifting going on about me. This is not a slap you in the face kind of feel (at least not for me) this is a gentle, calm, natural feeling but quite different from anything I felt before. I feel more connected, balanced and in harmony with everything and everyone. I also feel very relaxed and in peace.
When I meditate, which has a very definite different feel to it, I feel more connected to everything, it is easier to quiet my monkey mind and find stillness. I no longer feel I have to ground myself, I am grounded and seem to stay that way. I have heard some say that Our Mother Earth's Spirit (Gaea, Gaia) has ascended, is no longer here; I do not feel that at all. She may have ascended (this I feel) but she has certainly not left us. I feel now we must do everything from our heart no thoughts or intents just come completely from our hearts or high hearts if you will.
Now when I go out to the store, run errands etc., I don't get assaulted by others anger, depression and suppression like I was just a few weeks ago. There are a still some but not like it was. I had stopped going out in public much because of the "noise" from other people was very dense, very oppressive and generally hard for me to function in. Maybe this is only a shift in me but I think all of us have shifted; some more than others at this time and I feel many more will be doing "the shift" over the months to come. I so hope this is true! Humanity must make this shift in Conscious Awareness if we are going to save our world and all life forms here.
I have noticed a change in my diet and eating habits too. I crave more water and don't seem to want or need to eat as much. I am craving lighter foods, vegetables and fruits. Not that I always have them on hand to eat (limited budget an all-I generally shop once a month, this is changing) but that is what I am craving. I see this change in my Life Partner/Husband too. He is eating less and craving fermented foods (perhaps a topic for another post) and vegetables too. I am not sure if others are experiencing this or not.
I have also been experiencing cold chills for the past several years (not an exterior cold but a cold coming from deep inside), this too has increased and my tolerance for exterior cold is increasing too. I mention this because I have been hearing others speak of this lately. Time is another experience, or I should say the absence and shifting of time. I keep having this experience that I am skipping in time, shifting forward and to be honest my attitude has changed to one of what is the need for time who thought this brilliant control method up? Once upon a time people rose with the sun and winded down with her too, we were in balance with nature. There are several other things I have been experiencing too and others that have increased in the past month or two which I may touch on in another post.
Yes I believe humanity is finally shifting into awareness. Lifting the veil, facing their fears and deception and learning to be true to their heart and learning to come from their heart. Learning that it is OK for us all to be different, unique individuals (in my opinion if we were all meant to be alike there would only be one of us-how boring and lonely would that be?), and that in our unique individuality we can stand United as one to make the changes we need to make for a better way of life, maybe we would even be able to stop and really appreciate and enjoy life-how awesome would that be! The whole world evolving into a responsible, respectable, happy and loving place...is it really possible? Yes, if we all drop the veils and become responsible for our thoughts and actions instead of placing blame on others. If we can stop judging others, stop molding everything into what we perceive we want, become the compassionate witness and observer; respectful and responsible.
Yes dear humans we are ascending, whether it is obvious to others or not we are ascending. It took approximately 9 months for most of us to come into our present form, why should we expect instant gratification to come into our ascended selves?
With much Love and many Blessings
In Service and Love to the Earth and Unity
Wow what a huge task this is proving to be! I have a new respect for web designers! lol
I am being pushed from within to get this site up and active as quickly as possible, it is almost an urgency to add my voice, thoughts and intent out there/here to the millions of others. I have came across several people over the past few days doing the same thing!
Perhaps adding our intent to help, adding our support and uniting with others across the planet is part of it. I know there is more (my inner instinct). I have never done anything like this before, I have no special skills or certifications as defined by society, I am not a writer, singer or poet. I tend to be a recluse of sorts, keeping to myself with very few friends.
I am however; a very special Being filled with love, compassion and a willingness to serve in whatever capacity I can to heal the Earth and all her children, even if the only thing I appear to be able to give is intent, emotional and occasionally physical support.
I have no idea why I am doing this, I feel a compelling need from within that I must do this, I trust my inner knowing, my higher self; there is a purpose and to be honest I really do not need to know just what it is. I just need to be in this moment doing what ever my higher self guides me to do. So here I AM!
Enough on me and my nervous excitement, lol
Though I am not a writer I will be posting occasional posts as I feel guided on any number of topics, thoughts etc.
Blessings and thank you for dropping by